I was recently informed by a bag of kale chips that I belonged to a community whose very existence was unknown to me: the snacking community.
And I’m pleased to report that, according to this bag of kale chips, our ranks are growing. “55% of people snack three or more times a day,” the bag elaborated.
That’s a lot of snackers. And yet, none of my new comrades have invited me over for a granola bar or even a handful of pita chip shards from the bottom of the bag. I expected more of a sense of community given the unbreakable bond we snackers share: the bond of habitually putting food in our faces between standard mealtimes.
But don’t get me wrong - I’m still grateful. When I was a boy, I wanted nothing more to belong, especially to a consumption-based community dreamt up by a brand as a transparent ploy to maximize my lifetime value as a customer.
I just hope the Democrats have a plan to court snackers ahead of the 2024 election.